Monday, January 14, 2013

See You Later

Every day I stare at your blog, constantly refreshing it, waiting for your next update.
I'll check my e-mail every ten/twenty minutes, waiting for a reply.
I'll watch the names list on chatzy, hoping to see your name there again.
Who would've thought you would make such an impact on my life despite how little we talked.

The Summer of 2012, I met one of the most incredible women to ever have walked this earth. Though I have yet to meet her in person, I know she is always there for me to be the perfect person that she is.
Chase and Em were perfect together. Or, should I say Matt and Michelle? Anyway, the two of them are like Yin and Yang. Only when together are they whole.
Chase and I talked more than he and most Bloglandians. Yes, there were arguments, but he was also a friend. An irreplaceable friend that I hate having to live without. I know, compared to what he means to Em, the pain is nothing... But the loss of such a good friend us tearing me apart. Yet another loss, yet another victim of cancer...
Me and Chase spent hours upon hours on chatzy talking. About lots of things, eventually he told me about his feelings towards Em. One day he even said that he was going to propose to her a day after her birthday... He loved her from the start, I think. And, I believe, he knew it too.
Chase was always there for me when I needed someone the most, even if it was that I was overly angry and needed an argument. Yes, he and I argued a lot, but every time we both apologized quickly. Only friends can do that, I think...

I'd like to say I knew him well, but never will I know him as well as I wish to. He was talented and funny, one of the strongest people I've ever had the honour of knowing, too... I knew before I began talking to him properly that he'd be lost to us all the hard way. But, it was worth it. He was there when Em was in hospital, he was there for her and he was there for us. Chase was, no... Chase is, and will always be, one of the most perfect people I've ever known.

There won't be a single day where I won't think of Chase. He's a friend and he made Em happy, which is all I could wish for her to be.

I'm sorry this whole thing is all over the place, but that's been my mind since Tuesday. Chase was one in a million, never will he be replaced.

I'm sorry, but I refuse to say goodbye. Goodbye means leaving, leaving means forgetting... And I don't want to forget.

I guess it'll have to be a see you later, Chase. Thanks for being you, thanks for being perfect.

Oh, and, Em? You're perfect. Don't lose hope. I'm not religious, but that doesn't mean I know he's looking down on you. He only wanted your happiness... Never forget that...