Saturday, September 29, 2012

Just a quick post...

There's this girl I know, she's absolutely gorgeous, but she doesn't believe it. She's perfect, I swear! I cannot find a single flaw in her, and I am usually good for spotting flaws! This girl, though, I've never found a flaw in. I've known her around four months now, I think. She really doesn't see things the way we do, she faces the world with a smile and no matter what anyone says to her she is nice to them. She's unbelievably nice and kind, sweet and considerate. She's like a sister to me and a world without her would most definitely be a cold one! She is always there for me with hugs and a smile. And I owe her so much.

I could tell you all about her, but words can do her no justice. She's my big sister and I can't imagine a world without her. Anyone that harms her in any way will make a new enemy almost instantly, I can be rather protective over those I love, especially those that care for me so much.

So, Kallista Pendragon, keep smiling that beautiful smile because I'll be here for you as much as I can. One day I'll be there for real, be there to hug you and punch anyone that needs punching. I'll also be there to give you lots of sweets, because sweets are sugary and they take away the bitter part of life even though it's only for a short while! Stay strong, I love you, remember that. <3

Friday, September 28, 2012

Hope!

I am only posting this here because I've been thinking about the power of hope all last night and all this morning...I'll probably be thinking about it later on, as well...Hope is strong, hope can be more powerful than a weapon. Hope can be provided with a simple smile, I believe. Don't lose hope...



"The start of the new page I said ‘There's always hope, though.’, so guess what I’m dedicating to.
Yep, that’s right. Hope.
Earlier today, I was ready to give up on everything a few times…I thought I lost all hope in everything. I wasn’t sure what to do, or who to turn to. Recently, I’ve not been exactly…myself. I’ve not been sure of what to do or say. It has triggered a lot of memories…Few of them good. Memories of before Skulduggery Pleasant…Memories of before I had any hope and I lost faith in everything. I’m not religious, so I didn’t have anything like that to turn to. I had no friends to turn to. Teachers were more bothered about my grades than my wellbeing; since my grades were some of the best they’d ever seen no-one saw any cause for concern. My parents were busy with my brother, as usual, with him being autistic I tend to get ignored or insulted. I lost hope that things would get better, especially when it was that month in hospital…Nothing seemed to be going right for me. I’d lost so much…
Nothing anyone could do would restore my hope that things would get better. The doctors only seemed to bring bad news…I was left watching patients, that soon became friends, dying in front of me…
I remember this one girl, she was so sweet, she and I used to smile and laugh at each-other and sometimes even talk to each-other through notes. She was my age, too. She was almost as ill as I was, but when she smiled I seemed to remember the feeling of warmth again…That’s when I first felt that maybe there is hope…A little while after I was moved to another hospital. I manage to talk and type, but that was all I could do then. But, they finally got me in for an operation…The chances of my survival had doubled; they said they didn’t think I would have made it. They said I must’ve had something that kept my mind here, something keeping me here. I could’ve died in that operating theatre, but I think I know why I didn’t…That hope that the young girl gave me made me hold on…I was alive, against all odds.
A month or two after, when they took me off tablets I had to visit the doctors to get my stitches taken out of my chest. I saw that girl for one last time. I saw that girl and her mum, like I was with my mum. She gave me hope, my mum and hers exchanged a few words and me and the girl just talked and laughed. I found friendship and I found hope. She gave me the will to go on in life…
A couple of years on, I found myself with a best friend…She and I became friends so fast and we’re still friends today, but I found out that she was terminally ill…she has a cancerous tumour in her leg. I was back to lacking hope. The only person I found that liked me for me could be dying…This time; I didn’t know how to react. I ended up locking myself in my bedroom for a couple of days and just crying. I didn’t know what to say…I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who to talk to.
Then, I found you guys. I found the best people in this damned world. I’d been a fan since the first book was released, but I never knew of the fandom. I didn’t know how amazing you guys are. I found that, even in the darkest of times that someone will be there for me and someone can help me through it. You guys never leave me to try to sort things out on my own. There’s always one of you that’s here for me.
When some of my supposed friends betrayed my trust, I had you guys here to show me what trust really is and how precious it truly is. When I don’t know what to do or where to turn, there’s always one of you there for me…Smiling at me, telling me it’ll all be okay. Giving me hope…

Even recently, when things seem to have gotten even worse…Even when I’ve wanted to give up more than anything…Hellboy and Derek gave me the hope that I needed to carry on…They gave me hope. This hope will be there for me when I need it the most. When I just want to give in, I won’t. Not anymore, I can look at that picture and say ‘I can’t let you down, not now. You’ve done do much for me and the hope you’ve given me is immense…I’m going to carry on, just for you. Just so one day I can see you in real life and hug you and say thanks a million times over.’
Leading on from this, I’d like to dedicate to Derek…When Hellboy Facebooked me what Derek and HB had done, when I saw that picture…My life changed.
Derek, if you’re reading this- you’ve changed my life. You’re one of the most amazing people I have ever known, even if I haven’t met you. I can’t believe you agreed to Hellboy’s idea, it was amazing though. By writing the Skulduggery Pleasant books, you’ve actually saved so many people’s lives and so many people from themselves. Derek, you’ve brought together so many people. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you have done for me, alone. I have some of the greatest friends I could have ever wanted and I’ve learnt to love. I’ve learnt to be happy, all because of the few words that started it all… ‘Gordon Edgley’s sudden death came as a shock to everyone – not least himself’. Thank you for everything, Derek, you’re really something special. I hope that I can one day meet you and tell you all of this in person. But, I guess, typing it here and hoping that you’ll see it will have to do…Well, Golden God, I think I understand why you’re called the Golden God…You’ve a heart of gold and you’re how I’d imagine any God would be – perfect and a hero…You’re truly an inspiration. Even when the books have finished, this will always be my favourite book series and you’ll always be my favourite author, idol and friend…I promise to be brave for everyone in this fandom…
And now, if you don’t mind, I’ll go embrace my inner lunatic, I hear fun times are guaranteed…*climbs out the window*"

Don't lose hope!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Safe & Sound

Don't lose hope!
Don't die!
Stay strong!
Be brave!

A smile a day can make the happiness stay...

I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, "I'll never let you go"
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window, darling,
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold on to this lullaby
Even when the music's gone
Gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound...

I wish I could promise your safety. I wish I could promise I would be there for all of you and tell you, face-to-face, that everything will be alright. But, for now, that's imposible. Though, I can be here for you. You can e-mail me, comment on this blog, tweet me (@RobynLuat221b) or even message me on Facebook. Trust me when I say this, I will do everything I can for you all. And if I can ever meet even one of you I'll think of myself as the luckiest girl alive. No matter what lies you are told, you will always be perfect to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzhAS_GnJIc

You can leave me, you can forget I exist and you can tell me I mean nothing to you, but I will never, never ever, forget you. And I will never stop caring about you.

If you ever have any doubts, draw a heart on your left arm. Every time I wake up in the morning, I reach for a pen. I draw on my arm a little love heart. By doing the same, it brings us closer together. The heart on my arm shows that I care. Shows that I am loved. And you're loved, too. Please, never forget there'll always be someone that loves you. Always.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

This world is full of lies!


This world is full of lies…
The truth may be difficult to uncover, but it’s never gone.
The truth is a bright light, where the clouds are the lies. Clouds hide the light when you need it the most. Just like lies masking the truth. However, one day the light will shine through – just like you’ll see the truth.
You are beautiful, because you are you.
I know I link people to this song a lot, but…It means a lot. These four beautiful girls feel self-conscience all the time. It proves that U Gotta Love Yourself! Because you are you! And you is perfect.
I think I’m ugly,
And nobody wants to love me,
Just like her I wanna be pretty,
I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face,
‘Cause I know I’m ugly…

This world is full of lies!

This world truly is full of lies. But, the lies we tell each-other are nothing compared to the lies we tell ourselves. If someone says to you ‘you’re ugly’, you’ll know that the lie you’ve just been told is nothing compared to what you tell yourself. You’re beautiful. Of course you’re beautiful, you’re a human and I cannot imagine a world without you. I love you all. Every single person that reads this – and every single person that doesn’t – should know that they’re amazing.
Make it your task every day to tell one person their worth – even if it’s just “I’m glad you’re alive,”
By making someone smile, you could be saving their life. Have you ever thought about it like that? Have you ever thought of yourself as a hero? Because you could be a hero. You can be a hero. You can do anything if you put your mind to it.
Don’t put yourself down and give in before you’ve even tried, don’t waste your talent, don’t live in the past or the future, hope for something more, yeah, but make an effort to change your future for the better! They say that there’s always someone better and someone worse, but why can’t we all be equal? Why can’t we all make a difference!? Why can’t we all know that we’re beautiful? Why can’t we all know how perfect we all are!?
Why?

Go on…Ask yourself why.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Why haven’t you changed!?
Why aren’t you doing what you want to do?
Why are you holding yourself back?
Why can’t you believe that you’re beautiful?

I’ll tell you why, shall I?
It’s because society, it’s because we, believe(s) that there is something called perfection. It’s because we’re humans. And what do humans do? They want. They desire. We want and we desire. We want more. We need more. Or, at least, that’s what we tell ourselves…

If I could have one wish…It wouldn’t be anything for me. It wouldn’t be for world peace. It wouldn’t be for everyone’s safety. It wouldn’t be for no more starvation or no more natural disasters. Nor would it be for everyone to stop committing crimes.
It’d be for everyone to be able to smile. It’d be for everyone to be happy. Even if it was only for a moment…Everybody deserves happiness. Everyone deserves to smile and to be happy…

Happiness is a choice. Are you going to sit by and allow yourself to be angry/depressed/upset/irritated/anything but happy for the rest of your life? Or are you going to allow yourself to be happy and regret less?
I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to be happy as much as I can. I know it’d be rather ridiculous for me to say I don’t believe in being depressed, because I am a lot of the time…But, I do believe in being happy. And I do believe in living your life to the full – so you should do that!
Please, do yourself a favour and…smile. Smile once in a while!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Trust...

 
"I dedicate to trust. It can sometimes take years to build up a true trust, but mere seconds to destroy it.
Though my trust has been obliterate more times than I can count, I still find that I can trust some of you here and the fact that I can do this shows that the world isn’t all bad. Love is trust. Trusting someone with your heart. Trusting someone with your very being. Trusting that they won’t break you and allowing them to know the real you. That is love. That is what real trust is.
Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it when it’s broken, but you can still see the cracks in the reflection. Trust is a gift. It’s essential in life, just as love is. Without trust, you’d get nowhere. Despite my trust issues, I manage to find that trusting the right people can change you as a person. I trust three people, right now…Kallista, Hellboy and Ellie. I know it may sound peculiar, but when one person betrays my trust it makes me feel like everyone will.
That’s the problem with trust. It’s all a game. A game of luck. If you’re lucky enough to find someone that will stop playing the game you know you’ve found someone you can always trust. I find that the best way to trust is to be yourself…
And so, I also dedicate to you. The person reading this. Not the fa├žade that you may wear. Not this person you pretend to be. You. Because you are the best person you can be. I don’t like that people pretend to be someone they’re not. That’s why I hate myself. Because this person you all seem to see isn’t always me. I’m not always this person. Sometimes it’s me. But sometimes it’s not. Sometimes I am the person you want me to be. And I have decided it’s the end of that.
I am going to be me, from here on out. No taking crap from anyone else. No listening to these insults, because I am perfect just the way I am. Love me or hate me, I don’t mind. But, I do mind if you’re going to hate on yourself.
Ask yourself this question, why do I think so little of myself, sometimes? you might get closer to the problem. You might actually find the answer. Then you can learn not to hate yourself. Because all of these hateful words you tell yourself you are…They aren’t your words. They’re some jealous idiot that enjoys making people feel bad because of their own insecurities.
Don’t let people dictate your life. Trust in yourself. Find yourself. Derek’s so right and he has been since the beginning.
“The only goal worth seeking is finding out who you truly are.”

Don't let anyone change you. You've got to love yourself. ♥"
 
Trust is important and is often seen as nothing of importance. But trust is essential to love, I think. Trust is important, don't think little of it. ♥

B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.

 
"Before I start writing this dedication, I just want to say sorry. I stand by what I said, but I know I probably hurt a few people unintentionally. I’m just not…myself, let’s say. Things are just a tad difficult, right now. But that’s no excuse for me hurting people…
There isn’t really any reason for people to get hurt, is there?

That’s why I am going to dedicate to friendship. I know just earlier today I lost it with you all and I thought little of you…But that was in a moment of anger. It was inexcusable. I’m supposed to be your friend, a friend to all of you, to some of you an older sister, or even a little sister. Some people even say I’m like a mother figure, because I can be so caring, sometimes. But I don’t deserve you guys. I don’t deserve to be in your lives, because you’re truly the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I know Em is clearly a big part of your lives, sometimes I just get fed up of hearing the same person’s name over and over. It’s the same with everywhere I go, though. I mean, at school it’s always the same person’s name that I hear.
Most of you show your pain by actually saying something about it, but me? I can’t. I’m not that kind of person. I show my pain by taking it out on myself or shouting and screaming things at other people.
I might be angry with Em still about what happened on Chatzy and I might hate her a little bit for what has been said, but it doesn’t stop me from caring. I am just fed up of hearing about health problems and mental problems everywhere. I know so many people that are in pain because of health issues. And that’s why it hurts even more, especially with the problems of my own. It’s just depressing, to be completely honest with you.
But, you’re all the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I am an idiot for overreacting and losing my temper. It’s just my way of coping, I guess. I apologize for offending anyone, I shouldn’t have done that. I was wrong and I was an idiot. But we all know how much of an idiot I am, right? :D
You worried about Em because you knew what was happening with her, it’s just I always feel like other people need some attention, too. It’s why I hate always getting attention and tend to say ‘I’ll be alright’, because there is always someone else that will need help. I should be here for all of you, like I promised myself I would be. So, right now, I am going to make a promise that I will be here for all of you when you need or want to talk to me. I’ll be here for you, as a friend, a sister or even just that random chick that you let out all your anger on;D. You all deserve a much better friend than I have been, especially after today.
In the past you’ve taught me to trust, to care, to smile and to laugh, that it’s alright to cry sometimes and that no matter how bad things get there’s always going to be something to brighten it all up. I know I’m really suckish at writing dedications and apologizing and I’m an even worse friend, but all I can do is hope that you’ll allow me another chance? Because I promise to be a better friend and I promise to be there if you need me.
I wouldn’t blame anyone for hating me, because I hate me. I don’t deserve you guys, no matter how many times I lived life and no matter how many wrongs I righted, I’d never deserve to be friends with you guys. Because you’re all the most perfect people in this world and I count myself lucky to know that people as wonderful as all of you exist. You’ve all helped me in different ways, some more than others, and some of you just help with a smile. But a smile can make everything seem better, even if you don’t know the person. I think I’ve dedicated to smiling, before, so I’ll stop talking about smiling.
Scientists say that the more you laugh, the longer you live. So, if you make someone laugh you’re not only making their life better, but you’re prolonging it, as well. So, that proves that laughing is good for you! Laugh more. I’d say something funny, but I’m not funny. :P Star is, though.
Speaking of Star…I want to dedicate to Star, as well, because she helped me to open my eyes and truly realise how good of friends you guys truly are. Where would I be without you guys? Honestly? I’m not sure I want to know where I’d be if it wasn’t for you guys. You’re the best friends I could ever ask for and you’ve all helped me so much. Now I’m thanking you by getting angry and insulting you? It proves how dense I am and proves that I don’t deserve you guys. Star is one of the most precious people you could ever meet and her name fits her perfectly- she’s a shining light in the darkness. She’s a star. She’s funny; inspirational; loveable; beautiful and truly perfect. I love you, Star! You’re too awesome for words. Thank you so much! ♥
Also, to Chase, because…Even though he’s not known me very long and has seen me lose it a fair few times before…He still takes out the time to talk to me and check if I’m okay, especially earlier when he messaged me on Facebook. It’s really nice to know that people care. Chase, you’re amazing and I’m sorry if I offended you in anyway. Thanks for taking time out to talk to me, earlier. :3
To Zath and HB, because they’re always there for me and even when it hurts to laugh they’ll make me laugh. They’ll listen to my every complaint and argue with me when I say I don’t deserve them because they’re so awesome. I love you guys more than anything, okay? NEVER EVER FORGET THAT. ♥
And, finally, to all my friends (more like old friends, now, because you probably all hate me) here in Blogland. You’re amongst the most amazing people this world can offer. Most of these guys will be here to help you when you need someone to talk to, they’ll make you laugh and cry, confuse you and then just laugh it off with you. Sure, we can be an argumentative bunch (but I blame me), however, these guys are worth it. They’re worth more than the world itself. And I would more than happily die to save any one of you guys.
And Star, dear, I didn’t do a Nix. I did a me. After all, I’m feisty;). Honest is always the best thing to be. The first time a mother looks at her baby, the glint in someone’s eye when they realise they’re in love, the first smile one someone’s lips when they realise they’ve beat an illness, the sigh when someone opens their results and the warmth you feel when you’re with the person you love…They’re all people being honest with themselves. Honesty is beautiful, so few things in this world seem ugly. But honesty, like love, can never be ugly. No matter how many people you offend and no matter what may happen, if you’re honest then you’re following your heart. If you follow your heart you can never take a wrong turn. Life may be tough and things may get difficult, but so long as you follow your heart (not your brain, because it can get poisoned with lies- like you’re not perfect!) because your heart will always be true. ♥ Stay true to yourself, because that’s the only thing that’s truly worth it, in life. Please yourself, not others. Let people think whatever the hell they like because, in the end, it’s your opinion that matters. ♥"
 
I...I think I said everything that needs to be said, here...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAfyFTzZDMM

Time...

 
"Dedications~
I haven’t dedicated in what feels like forever. Time goes by so quickly…It feels like just yesterday I stared at the comments section in Blogland…Wanting myself to say something, but not finding the courage to talk to the awesome Minions that dwell here and that have changed my life as much as you have.
In all honesty, I regret not saying something earlier on. Maybe I could’ve gotten to know you better? Well, I don’t know. That’s the funny thing about the past. You don’t know what could have been. But now, living in the present, I know I made the right decision logging onto my laptop…And commenting for the first time. Talking to all of you for the very first time was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I couldn’t ask for a //family// better than the one I have here, after all.
My past isn’t exactly the best…It’s a little scarred, here and there. Some of you know more than others. But, I’ll admit it. I self-harm, I’ve attempted suicide more times than I can count, and I’ve almost run away from home so many times…I used to refuse to eat, as well. But, you know, I’m proud of my past. I shouldn’t be ashamed. It was my way of coping. I mean, I was once given a few weeks to live at most. But I am here now, with breath in my lungs, a beat in my heart, a glint in my eyes and a smile on my face. Because despite what my past holds, it’s what has made me who I am today. And I am proud of who I am today. No-one can change my opinion of myself, because I am the best person I could ever be. My past may be the home of a demon that haunt me…But that’s the past. That’s no longer here.
Now, the future on the other hand…That’s going to be so much brighter than things may seem, right now. I’m going to be smiling, because I’ve found true friendship. I’ve found people that mean more to me than my real family do. I would more than happily risk my life to put even the smallest of smiles on their faces. I love them more than anything in the world. I would do anything I could if it meant I could meet them….Even if it was only for an hour. But I one day hope that I can be there and hug some of you guys and tell you everything is going to get better…Tell you how much I love you. Even some of you that I’ve only recently started talking to- like Kallie and Hellboy (because let’s face it you two are some of the most perfect people I’ve ever known okay! ♥).
And to the present…Living in the present is the best way to live. Don’t live in the past because that is just what once was…It’s not coming back. You have to let it go. No matter how good or bad it was, the present will have so many surprises in store for you! The future…That’s for your dreams. The inspiration and motivation to keep you going! When things get tough in the present, remember that the future will be better and you just have to hold on…
Time goes by too fast…Don’t let the most precious moments in life slip through your fingers by living in the past or future. Live in the present, because…
Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a gift,
That’s why it’s called the present.
The present is one of the best gifts of all, because I get to share it with each and every one of you! ♥"
 
 Sometimes I wish I could go back. Go back to how things used to be. Back to how things were when everyone was so happy and nice. When things weren't as tough as they are now.
I wish I could go back.
But I know if I did things differently, I'd be missing out on knowing the most wonderful people in this world...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bTdLi0YUVM

Dedications...

Well, I decided to read through all my old dedications...And I realised I don't really want to lose them. Because I can sometimes be pretty wise, it seems. And since I am unsure of what to say, today...You're getting spammed with my dedications!

Love and Compassion!

" I've not dedicated in a while. So, I’m a tad rusty. Hahaha. But, I think I know what I want to dedicate to. Something that is part of all of us.
I’d like to dedicate to love and compassion. We show one another love and compassion pretty much every day. That’s something I love about this fandom- the majority of us are lovely. There’s only the odd one or two of you that’s not so nice to the rest of us. But, I guess, that’s probably just one of those things. It’s how it works, I guess. You get some wrong, you get some right. Maybe you just need to step back and have a look at the damage you cause…Anyway, back to the love and compassion…
When I first became part of this fandom, I wasn’t too sure what to expect. I was slightly scared that no-one would like me, like it was at school and whatever…But, from the moment I said one word you were all supportive and loving. You always seem to accept people for who they are. And, though everyone has their own group of friends within this fandom, you all kind of…Came together to welcome the new person. I see this happen every single time we get a newbie. It’s moments like that that make me proud to be a Skuttlebug. Make me proud to be a Minion.
Some faith in humanity is restored when I talk to you all. You all seem to attempt to face someone’s problems as a team as opposed to making someone go it alone. You’re all like one huge family. You might fall out with a couple of people, but the love is still there. You’re there for one another when someone needs help the most. There’s always someone there for people that need help.
Every generation of bloglandian we have had have become closer. They have faced their demons together and some have even fought against one another…But, in the end, you always manage to pull yourselves back together. You work as a team. Like a machine, every piece is crucial. Without just one of you things wouldn’t work anywhere near as well.
I’ve been told by a lot of you that I do a lot for you guys. I’ve had Sparky tell me that I see the best in people. I’ve had Hellboy telling me I’m fantastic and brilliant. I’ve had a fair few of you tell me that I am strong and that I’m a great person. So many of you compliment me and I never used to see the truth. But, now, I see the light. You guys were right and you compliment me all the time. But if I am all of these things, what are you? You all do so much for one another. Help each-other when things are tough, make each-other laugh when everything is going wrong and made each-other smile so bright that they lit up their own way through the darkness. My point is, you all work as a team to help each-other. Skuttlebugs. That’s what everyone says the name of the fandom is. It’s not just a fandom. I assure you. We’re a family. We are one together.
You guys see the best in people and don’t take them for any less than that. You guys can see as man sides of a person as they have and still see the brightness shining through the dark.
The love you show one another is immense and thought there is magic in the fandom through throwing fireballs and flying through the air, the real magic is within you. Within all of you. This bond that you all seem to have is forever. You jump in and save someone when they need it and you help each-other through every little step. Half of us don’t even know the people we tend to spend our lives talking to, but that’s what proves how strong love truly is. How magical love can be.
Our shared love for this series of books has brought together thousands of fans and changed their lives. It’s not just the Skulduggery Pleasant books that are amazing, it’s the fandom too. This is literally the best fandom I have ever known. Including the Mockingjays with their District Twelve Salute, of sorts. This fandom. This is the more true and pure fandom ever, in my opinion. You are all tremendous people and there’s just one word I want to say to you, now…This one word is what you all are. No matter how many times you deny it, it won’t stop it from being true…
Because
You
Are
Perfect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35Zqf-dqziw"

Monday, September 24, 2012

All alone...


Music is magical.

You may not think so, but music is a way to escape reality. To drown out the sounds of shouting and screaming. It can take you away from everything. Headphones in, music on, turn it up loud and you’re gone. The outside world doesn’t exist anymore. Everything is so much nicer. No shouting, no screaming, no hurting…No insults.

Just like books, music is important to me. It helps me escape the world I’m trapped in that’s called ‘reality’. Music lets me escape from the outside world. All the fights and arguments I hear everyday just fade away as they’re consumed by the music I listen to. From metal to Korean pop, it all has an effect.

Metallica, for example, help me get rid of my anger. Their music is so amazing. I love Metallica! Metallica, Anthrax, Iron Maiden, Megadeath, Linkin Park, Muse…I listen to a lot of music. I’ll listen to what reflects my mood, a lot of the time. Because when I have no words of my own, I know that music will be able to do the talking for me. There’s a song for every mood. There’s a song for every tear, every smile and every laugh.

Music is an art. It’s magical; you just have to believe it…






 

Music can show how you feel. Just like writing. Just like reading. Just like talking. Just like dancing. Except, all you have to do is listen…

Music can prove that you’re not on your own and music proves I’m not alone- together we’re invincible, apparently. Muse just said so themselves.

Music can be the help that you need when there's no-one else left...It's always going to be there. Trust me, I'd know...

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Well...

So that's it?

I lose you forever?

You know who you are and I shan't be saying who I am talking to here...

I can't bring myself to talk to you on your own...

Too much pain.

I thought I'd finally found a real friend.

Someone I cared about more than my own family...

Someone I could turn to no matter what was wrong.

Clearly, I was mistaken.

I don't usually say goodbye, but I doubt I'll be hearing from you ever again. This is the last time I trust or care...Goodbye, sweetheart. Have a nice life...

Rawr!


I am terrible at blogging. It’s rather amusing, to be honest. They do say that practice makes perfect, though, so I guess you’ll be seeing a lot from me – blogging-wise. 

I think YG may have some sort of magical power to get songs by their artists stuck in your head forever…I mean, Fantastic Baby and Ms. Liar (by BIG BANG) are always in my head, same with UGLY and I Am The Best (by 2NE1). It’s a YG thing. Clearly. If YG ever go to London and do a YG family concert I am going. I love YG! And this song…Oh, dear…This song will not leave my head. It’s slightly painful, to be honest… PSY’s Gangnam Style…

I do love a lot of metal/rock music, too! I grew up listening to that kind of music. And I’ll always love it. Always. Apparently I’ve got a strange taste when it comes to music…Rock and K-Pop…I think it’s weird. I like it. Weird is good.

Speaking of weird, I was – according to my dad – a weird child. I used to call Kawasaki’s quacksakis, because I was that cool of a kid. I want a Kawasaki so badly! Anyone fancy buying me one for my 21st? According to the law I can’t have a Kawasaki for another five years! It’s rather annoying…I probably thought about this because I was watching MotoGP earlier. And I still find it sad because my favourite rider was lost in one of the races… Rest in peace, Simoncelli! My heart goes out to you!

“At least he died doing what he loved,”

Skulduggery is involved in every part of my life. I’m not even joking. It’s everywhere. Physically and mentally, Skulduggery is all over. Skulduggery Pleasant shall rule the world! ...That’s a pretty awesome thought, actually.

Imagine a world ruled by a skeleton detective…

It’d be fun.

And dangerous, most probably.

Especially after what happened with Weeper in Dark Days…

He’d scare pretty much everyone.

The world should be ruled by a skeleton detective. It’s decided.

Maybe it’s Skulduggery’s fault Panem comes into existence!

He destroys the world and then the Capitol takes over…

Yes. This is how it happens. Skulduggery caused the Hunger Games.

This makes me happy, so this is what happened.

Now I haven’t the foggiest what I was going to say, so I shall leave you with this…

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Imaginations are the key to success...

Ellie (ELLIKINS) sent me a letter for out 6 month Sistaversary on the 11th of this month! It was an emotional day, given the date, and it was even more emotional because of those letters. She had me in tears, which isn't such an easy task. Ellie sent me to letters, a keyring from Camden Market - which is sat on top of one of my Skulduggery books out of fear of breaking it - a skull bracelet that isn't leaving my wrist any time soon and the Hunger Games Illustrated Movie Guide! I love Ellikins so much. Espcially because she slipped something else into that parcel...
 
That little artistic sister of mine sent me a collection of drawings of some of my favourite characters from my main fandoms (Sherlock, Hunger Games and Skulduggery Pleasant - OF COURSE). And it's the sexiest thing on my wallllllllllll.

CHECK IT:

She's amazing. Fabulous. Perfect. I love her. My wall looks sexier every day. My sister says I'm weird because I save every drawing, letter, blog mention, dedication and random creation. I'm thinking about starting a book of all my dedications, actually...Opinions? Not that anyone reads this blog...This is usually just for myself. And because it's supposed to help with my therapy..Hmm...DOUBT IT.

So here's a close up of one of the letters. 'You also thought KFC stood for Kan't Find the Chicken'... I'm blonde...It's allowed. Maybe. I did know it was Kentcuky Fried Chicken, but my grandad and my dad decided it'd be funny to convince me otherwise...Little gullible me decided to believe them. And then Ellie ended up finding out...Over skype? I don't remmber. But now you all know, I guess...See, I do have some good memories. I think the whole KFC incident is one of my best memories.
I like memories. Memories are nice. Memories are good. Even the bad ones. Bad memories help you to appreciate the good ones!
Hunger Games Companion. Hunger Games Illustrated Movie Guide. Mockingjay Pendant. Mockingjay Pin. Because I'm not obsessed at all...
I might buy the American Hardback editions of the Hunger Games, actually. They're pretty. I want them on my bookcase. I'll buy some hardbacks. It's decided.
Presents from Ellikins! It's clear that Ellie knows me well. Hunger Games, skulls and telling me to keep calm...My sister is perfect. I wish she was my real sister. Maybe I can convince my mum to adopt her? Doubt it. Worth a try though, right?

Skeleton Creek! Oh my Golden God, this book makes me happy. Sparky recommended this book to me, so I bought it from Amazon. And I love it! It's awesome. Not quite as creepy as I had hoped, but my version of creepy is probably much different to pretty much everybody else's. It's supposed to be terrifying, I didn't find it very terrifying. Scary, I guess. Thrilling, most definitely. Terrifying? Not exactly. Then again, I'm not easily scared. And I'ev yet to watch the videos. I might do that after this. I could do with a bit of a scare, after all. Patrick Carman is an incredibly talented writer and Skeleton Creek is an amazingly awesome book. It's by far one of my favourite books, aside from Skulduggery Pleasant and Hunger Games. I'm sure you'll find it scary if you read it. You should read it. It's...wow. I was left speechless when I finished it. Slightly disappointed, but speechless. I am always disappointed at the end of books, though. Probably because it's the fact that I have finished the book and I want more? I'm not too sure...But now I've got to finish Gone before I can buy the rest of the Artemis Fowl series and then I'll buy some other books to read. Maybe some manga? I've not read manga in a while...Anyway, Skeleton Creek = Awesome book!
I bought these books (The Gone series by Michael Grant) because Lynxia (Lost) told me they were good books and look at the colours of the pages. Green. Orange. Blue. Familiar colours? Playing With Fire, Skulduggery Pleasant, The Faceles Ones. That's what I thought, anyway...Made me smile. In the middle of Costco running up to look at Hunger Games and finding Gone. Even better! For my exam results, I got the first three Gone books. I'm only part way thruogh Gone, but so far it's epic! If you've not read them - read them. Now. I've been ill recently, but I forced myself to read the books even when  found concentrating difficult. They're that good. Not quite Hunger Games good. And most definitely not as good as Skulduggery Pleasant. Though, they are good. So, read them. *nods*

I'll finish reading them soon. As soon as I get better! I promise.
 

SKULDUGGERY BOOKS. ehehehehe. I'm sure the majority of you are aware of my obsession with collecting this series of books...Recently I aquired another five books. These five books took me up to a total of Forty Skulduggery Pleasant Books! Kingdom Of The Wicked (Collectors Edition Hardback - only available at WHSmiths); Kingdom Of The Wicked (Hardback); Skulduggery Pleasant (orange edged edition); The Faceless Ones (Large Paperback - finally!) and Skulduggery Pleasant Battle Pack. I decided on buying the Battle Pack as my 40th Skulduggery book because of a typo, my dear, Ellikins made - "I actually need to butt a Battle Pack". And that's the story behind how I deciced which book I wanted to be my 40th!
Look at these, though. Collectors Edition, on the left, is red. And red is a sexy colour. So KotW is a sexy book. But the normal Kingdom Of The Wicked is gold. Wchih is even better, I think. It's golden. Like the Golden God. It's also a really really awesome book and you must read it, if you haven't already. And if you have, read it again. Because it's awesome. Trust me, I'm supposedly really peculiar with books... So, Kingdom Of The Wicked = Perfect. Not quite my favourite of the series, but very high up. And there's a certain ship in that book that makes me happy...Not Valduggery, by the way. I shan't be giving my opinion of that pairing...It's best left unsaid.

If your bookcase is lacking Kingdom Of The Wicked, I pity you. It's hilarious, witty, emotional, painful, clever, peculiar, odd, Skulduggery and it was written by the Golden God. How much more perfect can you get?
High time I prove my obsession with skulls, I think. Two of my skultastic bags, four of my skulls and two of my skull bracelets. I've other skullified things in my room, but I'm far too lazy to find them! The blue skull, there, is made from obsidian and is incredibly rare to find in such a form. My dad bought it me as a present for getting one of the highest grades in English in my year. I love it, it's from Cornwall. Actually, all of those skulls are from Cornwall. Cornwall is nice. I like Cornwall. I still need to blog about that. I need to blog a lot more often. But I blog about boring things. I should be more exciting. Like popcorn. Does anyone else sit and watch the popcorn pop, or is it just me? I'll sit and listen for the pops of the corn. And the sweet scent of popcorn fills the air, so I grab a glass of pop and a bowl for the popcorn before putting the popcorn in a bowl and snuggling up all warm and watching an awesome film. My favourite film at the moment is Hunger Games. I am obsessed. Coyote Ugly is an epic film, too! I love it. And Ninja Assassin. There's a film that doesn't lack ninjas- Ninka Assassin! And it has Joon and Rain in. And they're HAWT.

Well, I don't believe in goodbye. Goodbye means forever. And no-one can leave you forever. You'll just be seeing them soon...I never want to say goodbye. I just thought you all needed to see this picture - it's beautiful. Disney might be full of happy endings, but it proves that those who suffer smile the brightest...It'll be tough now, but things can change. And that's just another reason for me to love Disney...

Finally, my favourite picture in the world.Two of the greatest men I've ever had the honour of knowing. I'll probably never get to meet either of them in person, but they're truly inspirational. And they're my heroes. So, Derek and Joe, I love you both. You're immense. Thank you, for everything.
 
 
And any idiot that actually decided to read my blog- I love you! Thank you! It's rare I get people reading my blog. It's rare I get people paying attention to what I say. :P

Thank you~!

Here, have a ded

"Blogland means a lot to a lot of people. It might be on the internet and we might never get to meet another Bloglandian, but it doesn't stop Blogland from being a place of fun, safety and love. Blogland has been around for a while, now. We've had plenty of people grace Blogland, we have had plenty of people appear once and never return, and we’ve had people move to chat rooms and to Facebook and to alternative blogs. We have had our fair share of fights and fallouts, but we have also had more than our fair share of heroes.
Each Bloglandian here, past, present and future is a hero in his/her own way. Most of you don't seem to see yourselves as much...but I see your true worth. You're worth more than all of the money in the world, to me. Even when you're gone, I'll remember you. You're always going to be in my heart and in my mind, whether I'm here or not.
I hate those people that say "You need to live in the real world, not this place from your imagination. Life isn't really like that." I hate them. But I also feel sorry for them. Our imaginations are incredible things and this, *gestures to Blogland* is just more proof. Our imaginations are the key to success, we are the future and with our minds we can make it brighter. We can make a difference. Plenty of people here in Blogland have been inspired by others, people have found love; safety; a second shot at life; friends and, best of all, people have found you guys - the people I would do everything I could to ensure they were happy. To ensure you are happy.
Blogland isn't a make-believe place. Blogland is a part of us, every single person that comments here is a part of Blogland.
Blogland isn't on Derek's blog. Blogland isn't on any blog (well, there are maps, but...). Blogland isn't on the internet. Blogland is real, because we are Blogland.
You can never really destroy Blogland, even if Derek stopped posting - we would still have Blogland. Blogland is always going to be here, be there. Blogland is everywhere and means the world to me, because WE are Blogland.
Anyone that thinks they can leave Blogland forever couldn't be more wrong if they tried. You can't leave Blogland forever, because it's a part of you. It's rather difficult to leave a part of you behind...trust me, I've tried.


Blogland isn't quite complete without all the regulars, here...So, I also want to dedicate to each and every regular we have ever had the honour of knowing.
I'll start with Hellboy...One of the first Bloglandians ever. And he still visits sometimes. Hellboy, or HB, is an incredibly talented individual who I've grown to love immensely these past two months. He's always there for anyone he can be there for and I still wonder why he's so nice to me when I don't deserve it…[EDIT: I could’ve gone on, but I’m sure you must’ve realised by now how much you truly mean to me… You’re awesome! And words do you no justice.]
Kallista Pendragon. One of the more well-known Bloglandians. She treats everyone she speaks with so much love and respect. She's a sister to so many people and no matter how hard I try I could never be as beautiful as her. She will always be there for me, even when she's not there physically or online...I always know that she cares. [EDIT: Kallista, you’re phenomenal. Ignore haters- haters gonna hate.]
Also to the older generations that I don't speak with as much. The effect they've had on Blogland is tremendous and I can only ever dream of calling anyone as amazing as any one of those a friend, because I could never deserve them.
You newer Bloglandians - Eden, Death and Brave - you might irritate me a lot and you might drive me crazy, but you're awesome. You're incredible people, don't change yourself for any f*cker else, because being true to yourself is the only thing that matters.
Val. V, now then...how's my beautiful sister doing? Did I tell you I'm adopting you as my sister? I probably should have...you collect Skulduggery books, like me! You're so incredibly funny and - despite what anyone says to you - girl, you're stunning. You might be murderous, but you're lovely. You make me want to start watching Doctor Who again, as well...GAH. I love you, okay? Never change! [EDIT: VAL YOU’RE TREMENDOUS AND WE SHALL STALK THE GOLDEN GOD TOGETHER ONE DAY. You’re also really awesome and lovable. Anyone that insults you will be lectured on sparrow flight patterns, aight?]
Zaaaaaaaaffffffffff. *grins* You're my necromancer buddy and partner in crime - when I can be bothered, that is. :P You're the main reason I started reading Hunger Games. Now I'm obsessed. I AM BUYING ALL THE HG THINGS. And you're an incredibly awesome admin, f*ck whatever that other b*tch says!

FLAAAAAAAMMMMEEEE. *giggles and hugs* My amazingly talented friend, you're ...I don't even have words for how awesome you are. When I first came here I actually thought you hated me, I swear! It was recently when I decided that you don't hate me. XD You're hawt, okay;) Never ever change, because you're you and you are perfect. ANDOURAMAZINGCONVERSATIONSWINATLIFEOKAY. [EDIT: ehehehe. I plan on buying a new bookcase for when your set of novels are released;) Hurry up, so I can fangirl over your books and you can take me with you on your signings;D But I’d be so short compared to you…STOP GROWING!]
Emeraldddddddd. You're gorgeous. We did fall out for a little while, but you've always been fricking amazing, to me. You're bloody brilliant! You've helped me so much and no matter how much I don't want to care about you out of fear of losing you, I care about you so much. So, NO DYING.
Calamity, ohmygod you make me smile so much! You say you've barely helped me? I say that's a lie. The best kind of help, I think, is a hug and making someone laugh. You happen to be amazing at both those things. *huggles* XD LOVE YOU.
EVVVVVVVVEEEEE. You're so cheerful! Like Clarabelle, but incredibly intelligent. XD And probably more peculiar. Live chickens...ahaha. Eve, you're truly remarkable and a world without you would be a rather boring one. You're the most optimistic and one of the most lovable people I've ever known. Never ever change.
Nix, you're strange. You're also HILARIOUS. And pretty clever. XD No matter how many times you argue with people, including me, I'll be there for you. Because I'm incredibly argumentative myself. C: And you're pretty damn awesome.

Sparky...You might have left us, for an incredibly lame reason, but I still love you. My little sister that is always there for me, no matter what happens. You're a bright spark that brightens everything up, even when everything is so dark it seems impossible to ever get better. You'll brighten up the world with your talent with words - you're one of the most talented writers I have ever known. I would honestly have a tough time deciding between your writing and Derek's...You're always going to be in my heart, because despite being blog, and fandom, famous you're down to earth. And you even accepted me, which is something a lot of people seem to find difficult. Before I started commenting on the blog I looked up to you, because you have always been amazingly brilliant. Now? Now I couldn't be more thankful for calling you one of my best friends. Every time you're on here at the same time as me, I know I'm going to have a laugh. I remember the first time I ever got an e-mail from you. I almost screamed in disbelief. I love you, girl. I'm never going to forget you, even if you forget me. I hope you see this and I hope you'll return, because without you I don't know where I'd be. I owe you so much and thank you will never be enough...but, it's a start. So, thank you, Sparky. Thank you for everything, you're inspirational.
Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Yes, your name has that many Rs. Now correct your name. :P STAR, I'D CALL YOU BUBBLY BUT YOU'RE A STAR. AND STARS AREN'T BUBBLES. SO...you're starrified. I've always loved stars. The amount of bags I have with stars on is unbelievable. Stars are beautiful; bright; shiny and helpful. You're all of those things and more. Star, you're hilarious, too. Lighting up the night sky! XD You're perfecccccttttt, ACCEPT IT OR I'LL THROW POPCORN AT YOU.

LYNXIA LOST. Lynxia is so pretty it hurts. Seriously, she's one of the most beautiful people I've ever known - her heart is pure, too! Lynxia is always there for me when I need her and if I didn't have her in my life...Then I don't know what I'd do. She’s so strong and so perfect. I just wish she could see how amazing I think she is. I PLAN ON MEETING YOU AT A SIGNING NEXT YEAR, LYNXIA. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. Lynxia was the first blog-sister I got and I love her more than anything, 'cause she's amazingggg. If any of you fail to see her awesome, you need your head checking. If any of you say anything offensive to her, you will have made yourself a new enemy. Lynxia is always here for me and I'd do anything to ensure her happiness and safety, because she means more to me than the world itself - she's the best sister I could ever want. Lynxia, you're my sister, not just blogsister, actual sister. I've decided. I'm so lucky to have you in my life AND WE CAN FANGIRL OVER LINK, LOKI AND LEGOLAS. (What is it with us and the letter L? *realises both Lynxia and Luciana begin with the letter L and laughs*) L IS THE BEST LETTER IN THE ALPHABET. [EDIT: I just realised how little I wrote for you…asdfgjk THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. You’re the one that got me reading Gone! It’s amazingggggggg. I love you, alright? You’re my sister. And you’re stunning and amazing and tremendous and you’re you. You shall never cease to be perfect. <3]
Now, to anyone I haven't already mentioned....I love you all more than words can say. You're my heroes, I love you all.

Hmm...I think I'm forgetting someone really important...I just can't think who could have had a huge impact on my life...I can't think of that person who is always there for me and refuses to hate me...the person that makes me laugh, no matter how I'm feeling. The person that makes me laugh so much that I ache, the person I argue with about who is awesome..The person I could tell anything to and have no fear of being hated.

I'll never forget you, Zath. No matter what happens you're always going to be in my heart, because you're amazing. You're that person I can count on all the time. I've known you for less than a year, but it was only recently when I realised your true worth. There are very few people that I know I am myself around and there are very few people I trust as much as I trust you. You have showed me that I'm not on my own. You have proved to me several times over that there's always something worth fighting for. You've been amazing since always;3 You're always here for me when I need someone. You can tell when there's something wrong without me even having to say so, it seems. *draws a flower on Zath's face in pink highlighter* You stopped me from self-harming. And gave me something to smile about. Keep on writing, I want to be the first to buy your first book, alright? I'll be your biggest stan (stalker-fan, for those of you that are poorly educated);3

Zath, I don't care about your past. And I don't care who you hurt - unless it's Lynxia - because you're amazing and you mean the world to me.

Life is too short, remember? The past is the past, the future is still to come. Let's live in the present, because the present is our time.

Derek, I'd dedicate to you but you're getting a letter, instead. :P

Now, I'm going again. I'll be back by the 14th of November, for Kallista's birthday. And stay until at least the 18th, maybe stay for good. But I want to be around my friends for my 16th birthday.

Feel free to forget me, I don't mind. It's probably going to be better for you all that way. However, I'd hate you to forget that you're loved. So, even if you choose to forget me, remember that somebody somewhere loves you. You don't have to remember my name or my face, or even my personality. Not even what I've done. Just remember you're loved.

I'll talk to you when I get back, I guess...please excuse my typos. I'll try to reply to some e-mails when I can. I'll read your blogs and leave the odd comment. I might end up blogging once it twice, myself.

Please, everyone, don't die whilst I'm gone... <3

See you all later..

PS.

I love you all, even those of you I don't particularly like."