Tuesday, September 25, 2012


"Before I start writing this dedication, I just want to say sorry. I stand by what I said, but I know I probably hurt a few people unintentionally. I’m just not…myself, let’s say. Things are just a tad difficult, right now. But that’s no excuse for me hurting people…
There isn’t really any reason for people to get hurt, is there?

That’s why I am going to dedicate to friendship. I know just earlier today I lost it with you all and I thought little of you…But that was in a moment of anger. It was inexcusable. I’m supposed to be your friend, a friend to all of you, to some of you an older sister, or even a little sister. Some people even say I’m like a mother figure, because I can be so caring, sometimes. But I don’t deserve you guys. I don’t deserve to be in your lives, because you’re truly the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I know Em is clearly a big part of your lives, sometimes I just get fed up of hearing the same person’s name over and over. It’s the same with everywhere I go, though. I mean, at school it’s always the same person’s name that I hear.
Most of you show your pain by actually saying something about it, but me? I can’t. I’m not that kind of person. I show my pain by taking it out on myself or shouting and screaming things at other people.
I might be angry with Em still about what happened on Chatzy and I might hate her a little bit for what has been said, but it doesn’t stop me from caring. I am just fed up of hearing about health problems and mental problems everywhere. I know so many people that are in pain because of health issues. And that’s why it hurts even more, especially with the problems of my own. It’s just depressing, to be completely honest with you.
But, you’re all the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I am an idiot for overreacting and losing my temper. It’s just my way of coping, I guess. I apologize for offending anyone, I shouldn’t have done that. I was wrong and I was an idiot. But we all know how much of an idiot I am, right? :D
You worried about Em because you knew what was happening with her, it’s just I always feel like other people need some attention, too. It’s why I hate always getting attention and tend to say ‘I’ll be alright’, because there is always someone else that will need help. I should be here for all of you, like I promised myself I would be. So, right now, I am going to make a promise that I will be here for all of you when you need or want to talk to me. I’ll be here for you, as a friend, a sister or even just that random chick that you let out all your anger on;D. You all deserve a much better friend than I have been, especially after today.
In the past you’ve taught me to trust, to care, to smile and to laugh, that it’s alright to cry sometimes and that no matter how bad things get there’s always going to be something to brighten it all up. I know I’m really suckish at writing dedications and apologizing and I’m an even worse friend, but all I can do is hope that you’ll allow me another chance? Because I promise to be a better friend and I promise to be there if you need me.
I wouldn’t blame anyone for hating me, because I hate me. I don’t deserve you guys, no matter how many times I lived life and no matter how many wrongs I righted, I’d never deserve to be friends with you guys. Because you’re all the most perfect people in this world and I count myself lucky to know that people as wonderful as all of you exist. You’ve all helped me in different ways, some more than others, and some of you just help with a smile. But a smile can make everything seem better, even if you don’t know the person. I think I’ve dedicated to smiling, before, so I’ll stop talking about smiling.
Scientists say that the more you laugh, the longer you live. So, if you make someone laugh you’re not only making their life better, but you’re prolonging it, as well. So, that proves that laughing is good for you! Laugh more. I’d say something funny, but I’m not funny. :P Star is, though.
Speaking of Star…I want to dedicate to Star, as well, because she helped me to open my eyes and truly realise how good of friends you guys truly are. Where would I be without you guys? Honestly? I’m not sure I want to know where I’d be if it wasn’t for you guys. You’re the best friends I could ever ask for and you’ve all helped me so much. Now I’m thanking you by getting angry and insulting you? It proves how dense I am and proves that I don’t deserve you guys. Star is one of the most precious people you could ever meet and her name fits her perfectly- she’s a shining light in the darkness. She’s a star. She’s funny; inspirational; loveable; beautiful and truly perfect. I love you, Star! You’re too awesome for words. Thank you so much! ♥
Also, to Chase, because…Even though he’s not known me very long and has seen me lose it a fair few times before…He still takes out the time to talk to me and check if I’m okay, especially earlier when he messaged me on Facebook. It’s really nice to know that people care. Chase, you’re amazing and I’m sorry if I offended you in anyway. Thanks for taking time out to talk to me, earlier. :3
To Zath and HB, because they’re always there for me and even when it hurts to laugh they’ll make me laugh. They’ll listen to my every complaint and argue with me when I say I don’t deserve them because they’re so awesome. I love you guys more than anything, okay? NEVER EVER FORGET THAT. ♥
And, finally, to all my friends (more like old friends, now, because you probably all hate me) here in Blogland. You’re amongst the most amazing people this world can offer. Most of these guys will be here to help you when you need someone to talk to, they’ll make you laugh and cry, confuse you and then just laugh it off with you. Sure, we can be an argumentative bunch (but I blame me), however, these guys are worth it. They’re worth more than the world itself. And I would more than happily die to save any one of you guys.
And Star, dear, I didn’t do a Nix. I did a me. After all, I’m feisty;). Honest is always the best thing to be. The first time a mother looks at her baby, the glint in someone’s eye when they realise they’re in love, the first smile one someone’s lips when they realise they’ve beat an illness, the sigh when someone opens their results and the warmth you feel when you’re with the person you love…They’re all people being honest with themselves. Honesty is beautiful, so few things in this world seem ugly. But honesty, like love, can never be ugly. No matter how many people you offend and no matter what may happen, if you’re honest then you’re following your heart. If you follow your heart you can never take a wrong turn. Life may be tough and things may get difficult, but so long as you follow your heart (not your brain, because it can get poisoned with lies- like you’re not perfect!) because your heart will always be true. ♥ Stay true to yourself, because that’s the only thing that’s truly worth it, in life. Please yourself, not others. Let people think whatever the hell they like because, in the end, it’s your opinion that matters. ♥"
I...I think I said everything that needs to be said, here...


  1. I don't hate you L (then again, I may not count as an "old friend" or any type of friend). And the video's meaning was quite beautiful. Even if it was pretty graphic.

  2. Lucy, never, ever, EVER think that we hate you!!!! That is impossible!!!!

    You are such an amazing person and I will never ever forget our friendship, even of we don't talk as much as friends should, thank you for being my friend!!!! Even if we have had a few rough spots, everyone will be here for one another...

    *Reads comment*
    Does that make a lot of sense???