Friday, September 28, 2012

Hope!

I am only posting this here because I've been thinking about the power of hope all last night and all this morning...I'll probably be thinking about it later on, as well...Hope is strong, hope can be more powerful than a weapon. Hope can be provided with a simple smile, I believe. Don't lose hope...



"The start of the new page I said ‘There's always hope, though.’, so guess what I’m dedicating to.
Yep, that’s right. Hope.
Earlier today, I was ready to give up on everything a few times…I thought I lost all hope in everything. I wasn’t sure what to do, or who to turn to. Recently, I’ve not been exactly…myself. I’ve not been sure of what to do or say. It has triggered a lot of memories…Few of them good. Memories of before Skulduggery Pleasant…Memories of before I had any hope and I lost faith in everything. I’m not religious, so I didn’t have anything like that to turn to. I had no friends to turn to. Teachers were more bothered about my grades than my wellbeing; since my grades were some of the best they’d ever seen no-one saw any cause for concern. My parents were busy with my brother, as usual, with him being autistic I tend to get ignored or insulted. I lost hope that things would get better, especially when it was that month in hospital…Nothing seemed to be going right for me. I’d lost so much…
Nothing anyone could do would restore my hope that things would get better. The doctors only seemed to bring bad news…I was left watching patients, that soon became friends, dying in front of me…
I remember this one girl, she was so sweet, she and I used to smile and laugh at each-other and sometimes even talk to each-other through notes. She was my age, too. She was almost as ill as I was, but when she smiled I seemed to remember the feeling of warmth again…That’s when I first felt that maybe there is hope…A little while after I was moved to another hospital. I manage to talk and type, but that was all I could do then. But, they finally got me in for an operation…The chances of my survival had doubled; they said they didn’t think I would have made it. They said I must’ve had something that kept my mind here, something keeping me here. I could’ve died in that operating theatre, but I think I know why I didn’t…That hope that the young girl gave me made me hold on…I was alive, against all odds.
A month or two after, when they took me off tablets I had to visit the doctors to get my stitches taken out of my chest. I saw that girl for one last time. I saw that girl and her mum, like I was with my mum. She gave me hope, my mum and hers exchanged a few words and me and the girl just talked and laughed. I found friendship and I found hope. She gave me the will to go on in life…
A couple of years on, I found myself with a best friend…She and I became friends so fast and we’re still friends today, but I found out that she was terminally ill…she has a cancerous tumour in her leg. I was back to lacking hope. The only person I found that liked me for me could be dying…This time; I didn’t know how to react. I ended up locking myself in my bedroom for a couple of days and just crying. I didn’t know what to say…I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who to talk to.
Then, I found you guys. I found the best people in this damned world. I’d been a fan since the first book was released, but I never knew of the fandom. I didn’t know how amazing you guys are. I found that, even in the darkest of times that someone will be there for me and someone can help me through it. You guys never leave me to try to sort things out on my own. There’s always one of you that’s here for me.
When some of my supposed friends betrayed my trust, I had you guys here to show me what trust really is and how precious it truly is. When I don’t know what to do or where to turn, there’s always one of you there for me…Smiling at me, telling me it’ll all be okay. Giving me hope…

Even recently, when things seem to have gotten even worse…Even when I’ve wanted to give up more than anything…Hellboy and Derek gave me the hope that I needed to carry on…They gave me hope. This hope will be there for me when I need it the most. When I just want to give in, I won’t. Not anymore, I can look at that picture and say ‘I can’t let you down, not now. You’ve done do much for me and the hope you’ve given me is immense…I’m going to carry on, just for you. Just so one day I can see you in real life and hug you and say thanks a million times over.’
Leading on from this, I’d like to dedicate to Derek…When Hellboy Facebooked me what Derek and HB had done, when I saw that picture…My life changed.
Derek, if you’re reading this- you’ve changed my life. You’re one of the most amazing people I have ever known, even if I haven’t met you. I can’t believe you agreed to Hellboy’s idea, it was amazing though. By writing the Skulduggery Pleasant books, you’ve actually saved so many people’s lives and so many people from themselves. Derek, you’ve brought together so many people. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you have done for me, alone. I have some of the greatest friends I could have ever wanted and I’ve learnt to love. I’ve learnt to be happy, all because of the few words that started it all… ‘Gordon Edgley’s sudden death came as a shock to everyone – not least himself’. Thank you for everything, Derek, you’re really something special. I hope that I can one day meet you and tell you all of this in person. But, I guess, typing it here and hoping that you’ll see it will have to do…Well, Golden God, I think I understand why you’re called the Golden God…You’ve a heart of gold and you’re how I’d imagine any God would be – perfect and a hero…You’re truly an inspiration. Even when the books have finished, this will always be my favourite book series and you’ll always be my favourite author, idol and friend…I promise to be brave for everyone in this fandom…
And now, if you don’t mind, I’ll go embrace my inner lunatic, I hear fun times are guaranteed…*climbs out the window*"

Don't lose hope!

2 comments:

  1. That was touching. Seriously. This story really moved me. And trust me, fun times ARE guaranteed.

    ReplyDelete